PHOTO PROMPT © Karen Rawson
Rochelle’s challenge this week, is Karen’s intriguing photo prompt – what is this place ? You have a 100 words to respond.
Greek Stories
Penny: ‘The clock measures my solitary time – another day, year, you’ve been gone so long. My Sea Captain. Waiting is built into the bones of this house.’
Otis: ‘I …must climb…these stairs, so tired. Is this a dream ? Is she really here ? Just another step’.
Penny: ‘A knock, it’s him. My hands search out your face, rough beard, skin coarse, eyes creased by staring at the horizon. I breathe in your smell, reek of the sea and your sweat. I feel my tightly bound love, fear releasing in your presence. Otis my love, you’re home’ .
May 8, 2018 at 12:45 am
A more modern take on Penelope and ulysses. Nicely done.
May 6, 2018 at 1:19 pm
Lovely update of one of the earliest written stories. I’m particularly pleased; the original story is very significant for me, for a fairly obvious reason! You’ve been so true to the original, making Penelope totally faithful to her absent husband, and making his journey home such an ordeal.
May 6, 2018 at 7:13 pm
Thank you Penny – pleased you liked the story. The original story is truly epic I think. I feel they are equally devoted to each other, in spite of their separation.
May 5, 2018 at 10:07 pm
That was lovely. Pennylope and Otisseus, hm? I love the way she feels and smells, more than sees, that this is really him after that long absence.
May 6, 2018 at 10:52 am
Thanks- glad you liked the story, the way she needs to make physical contact with him. After such a long absence that’s what she trusts I feel.
You’re right about the inspiration !
May 5, 2018 at 9:42 pm
I love the longing of this piece. My favorite line: “Waiting is built into the bones of this house”
May 6, 2018 at 10:53 am
Thank you Karen, so glad you like the story.
May 5, 2018 at 11:02 am
An unusual yet captivating flash fiction storytelling style.
May 6, 2018 at 10:54 am
Thanks Kelvin, so pleased you were captivates.
May 5, 2018 at 9:30 am
As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. A delightful piece
My FriFic tale is called Solace!
May 6, 2018 at 10:55 am
Thank you Keith – kind words.
May 5, 2018 at 8:45 am
I picked up the same phrase as Neil, the waiting built into the bones. Terrific story.
May 4, 2018 at 11:53 pm
The dialogue is really great.
May 5, 2018 at 8:37 am
Glad you liked the dialogue. Having a 100 words to fit the story into is a good discipline, I think. Lots of editing !
May 6, 2018 at 12:38 am
I can imagine so. 🙂
May 4, 2018 at 9:48 am
Dear Francine,
I could feel the love and longing in these two. Reunion will be sweet. Brava!
Shalom,
Rochelle
May 5, 2018 at 8:38 am
Thank you Rochelle for your kind words. Glad it spoke to you.
May 4, 2018 at 7:25 am
It sounds like he’s been gone a long time. I’m glad he made it up those steps!
May 5, 2018 at 8:38 am
Yes, I’m glad too. Thanks.
May 4, 2018 at 2:24 am
You could feel the ache in both of them…
Well done.
May 3, 2018 at 10:13 pm
A story of true love, she waiting for him, he fighting to get back to her. Well done.
May 5, 2018 at 8:40 am
Thanks Ian, most kind feedback.
May 3, 2018 at 9:12 pm
A lovely line “Waiting is built into the bones of this house.”
May 5, 2018 at 8:41 am
Thank you Neil, pleased you like that line. It sort of popped into my head, to convey how long she had been waiting.
May 3, 2018 at 8:49 pm
A bit like the Widow-Walks of old. Waiting for the sailor to come home. Lovely scents, feelings, and sounds.
May 5, 2018 at 8:43 am
Thanks Alicia, glad you liked it. What are the Widow-Walks of old ? Sounds intriguing, say more.
May 5, 2018 at 3:21 pm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Widow%27s_walk I hope this comes through!
May 3, 2018 at 8:24 pm
Beautifully written! Loved the visual.. and the smells. Interesting! 🙂
May 5, 2018 at 8:44 am
Thanks for your appreciative feedback Courtney. Glad you found it interesting.
May 3, 2018 at 8:18 pm
Loved that! Very atmospheric.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
May 5, 2018 at 8:45 am
Thanks for your feedback Susan – pleased you liked the story.