Woman Walks Dog

Making Sense of Life

Friday Fictioneers January 10th 2020 TWILIGHT

Rochelle’s challenge this week is prompted by  CEayr’s evocative photo.



 The trees merge into the twilight.  Ripples slap against the sides of the pool. The man draws on his cigarette, breathing in the stillness.

In the darkest corner, something bobs on the water’s surface, a branch ? No, a beach shoe.

Cigarette finished, he walks towards the bar, his foot crunching– on what? Peering down he sees splintered sunglasses.

Need a night cap. Pool lights off, there’s total darkness.

He walks towards the bar, hears a plaintive wail which pierces his heart, ‘Help me’.

Restored after two cognacs, until the news comes on:

‘today a woman drowned in the pool of her hotel.’


26 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers January 10th 2020 TWILIGHT

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  1. I liked the sparing style here, Francine, it works really well. And some people will just walk on by, whatever. It’s not in their nature to put themselves out for people

  2. Repulsive man… somehow I doubt he even likes himself.

  3. What a horrid, awful man, I half-wish his mind was so fogged he imagined it all but Ijust want to feed him to the fishes… Got any cement boots in that dark mind of yours? 😉

  4. Not a nice chap.
    I like how you built the tale.

  5. I get the feeling that even after hearing the news he still doesn’t care.

  6. Ugh, that moment of realization could haunt a person for life.

  7. shocking that he walks away – needing his alcohol fix. Certainly a sackable offence. poor woman.
    A story that makes you think about responsibility and attention at work.

  8. Dear Francine,

    Sounds like his mind was too alcohol fogged to make sense of anything. My guess is a hangover coupled with remorse is in his immediate future. Good one.



  9. Woah! You don’t often do dark! At the very least your cigarette smoking main character is a lazy coward; at worst, he could even be implicated – the splintered sunglasses suggest violence before the woman entered the water. Good take on the prompt.

    • Thanks so much for your comment Penny, much appreciated. You’re right about me not often doing dark. The photo prompted me to think about old fashioned ghost stories, like those by MR James’, with hinted at sinister goings on.

  10. I thought it was all in his mind, good stuff

  11. I figure he thought the plea for help was in his mind and not for real? Tragic story all round.

  12. He heard the cry and didn’t respond? What’s wrong with him?

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