Thanks to dear Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers and to Jennifer Pendergast for the photo.
WHAT IF ?
We wend our way in single file along the canal tow path, James my husband in front, me Olive behind. The verges are sprawling with elderberries, cow-parsley and blackberry runners. Bird song floats through the afternoon stillness. I’m lost in this summer’s day.
There’s a gentle splash, ducks ? I look ahead. You have disappeared, gone, as if you’ve never been there. I feel my heart lurch, paralysed for an eternity. Then your head appears from the water, spluttering, gasping. I’m there beside you, heaving you out of the water, to sit dripping on the tow path. We stumble home horrified.
November 8, 2021 at 4:03 pm
While I think you wrote a wonderful story, excellent descriptions and emotion, I keep looking at the prompt and wondering what the connection is?
November 8, 2021 at 8:15 pm
I appreciate your comment Linda, think you have a point. the photo made me think of every day life, the ordinary-ness of of our homes.
November 9, 2021 at 12:48 am
Well, of course. That’s a lovely connection 🙂
November 7, 2021 at 11:52 am
You certainly took an idyllic scene and turned it on its ear. Well done. (There does seem to be a disconnect re the prompt.). BTW my granddaughter’s name is Olive. 😉
November 8, 2021 at 8:19 pm
.Olive is a beautiful name I think.
November 6, 2021 at 10:51 am
What a nightmare! From dreamy summer day to almost tragedy. You describe the emotinal state of both situations so well.
November 8, 2021 at 8:20 pm
Thanks Gabi, I’m glad you liked the story.
November 5, 2021 at 6:57 pm
You capture the instant of horror very vividly, and you draw the contrast between before and after with considerable skill.
November 8, 2021 at 8:35 pm
Thanks so much for your feedback Penny, much appreciated.
November 5, 2021 at 5:45 pm
a tragedy averted. what a close call.
November 9, 2021 at 9:32 am
Thanks for your comment Plaridel.
November 5, 2021 at 3:54 pm
Good job she was there.
November 9, 2021 at 9:39 am
Thanks for your comment Ali.
November 5, 2021 at 2:45 pm
Oh my goodness. What if and if and if. The descriptions are great.
November 9, 2021 at 9:47 am
Thanks for your comment Bill, glad you like the story.
November 9, 2021 at 4:47 pm
November 5, 2021 at 2:01 pm
Phew! Terrifying. Well done.
November 9, 2021 at 9:53 am
Thanks for your feedback Mason, glad you liked the story.
November 9, 2021 at 10:10 am
November 4, 2021 at 8:08 pm
Interesting story.. but that isn’t the photo prompt.. ?
November 4, 2021 at 7:11 pm
Close call, I’m glad she had the presence of mind to save him.
November 9, 2021 at 10:00 am
Thanks for your comment Iain, I wanted to create a sense of precariousness.
November 4, 2021 at 4:31 pm
That must have been terrifying. I remember a near drowning as a child. Nobody had told me there was a skill to swimming and I just jumped in. My father was terrified
November 9, 2021 at 10:07 am
Thanks for your comment Neil. Your experience as a child sounds dreadful. I can imagine its something you’ll neve forget.
November 4, 2021 at 2:33 pm
That would be a horrifying experience! Glad they are both safe…
November 9, 2021 at 10:13 am
Thanks for your comment Dale.