Thanks to dear Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers, also for providing the prompt image for this week.
Friday Fictioneers 21 October 2021 What If’s The ever so clever Keith Hillman designed this one and I had to snag it! CLICK TO JOIN
Olive pauses in her kitchen, dinner for two , now one, Raymond her son has disappeared without explanation six months ago. In the long days afterwards, Olive is drawn into ‘ what if’s.’
- Raymond leaves in May
- He takes nothing with him
- He takes a sports bag full of his things
- Olive loves him fiercely
- Raymond feels stifled
- Raymond has autism
- He worked as a gardener
- He loves travel programmes about Mexico on tv.
- Olive checks her phone every hour
- Jo from the local diner hasn’t seen Ray since May
In October she receives a text from Ray:
‘I’m ok Ma’.
October 27, 2021 at 10:34 am
Thanks for you comment Rochelle. Isn’t Olive a beautiful name, rare these days I think.
October 24, 2021 at 9:00 pm
So many terrible what if’s but so glad she got the message her son is well.
October 26, 2021 at 3:18 pm
Thanks for your comment, glad that the story spoke to you.
October 24, 2021 at 11:16 am
I like how you told this. Readers may now fill in the gaps. Fun.
October 26, 2021 at 3:20 pm
Thanks Bill, glad you liked the story.
October 26, 2021 at 3:23 pm
October 23, 2021 at 9:14 pm
I found that an interesting way of telling the story, because it makes clear the role of the reader in determining the story arc. We each can decide which of the statements is true, and how much weight to give it, and thus we take part in creating the story. Adventurous and rather well done!
October 26, 2021 at 3:29 pm
So pleased you liked the format Penny and the characteristics opened up by that.
Inspiration came from a poem given to me written by Regi Claire, (Un) certainties.
October 22, 2021 at 10:47 pm
oh, what a relief to finally heard from him. 🙂
October 27, 2021 at 10:01 am
Thanks for your comment, you can imagine her relief.
October 22, 2021 at 4:16 pm
A worrying six months, what a relief that text must have been.
Btw, thanks for giving my frog such prominence, he’s smiling with joy!
October 27, 2021 at 10:06 am
I appreciate your feedback Keith. I was inspired by your splendid frog, such a dapper gent !
October 22, 2021 at 1:40 pm
Raymond must be on the higher end of the autistic range–sounds as if he’s done okay on his own. Good story. You’ve truly captured the fear and worry of the mother.
October 27, 2021 at 10:12 am
Thanks for your feedback Linda, I’m glad you liked the story.
October 22, 2021 at 12:48 pm
Hmm, I wonder what he’s been up to? At least he’s okay!
October 27, 2021 at 10:15 am
Thanks for your comment Ali. Oddly enough, I didn’t figure out what he was up to – left it to the reader.
October 22, 2021 at 10:44 am
Oh, I’m so glad he is OK. Poor Olive. Maybe she can work out some routine with him to let her know that he’s OK without feeling stifled.
October 27, 2021 at 10:20 am
Thanks for your comment Gabi, sounds like some changes are needed doesn’t it.
October 27, 2021 at 11:22 am
Yes indeed. 🙂
October 21, 2021 at 11:30 pm
11. Ray is terribly afraid of sponge cats
October 27, 2021 at 10:24 am
I’m intrigued by the sponge cats, are they edible ? Or creatures from another dimension? Please say more.
October 27, 2021 at 10:35 am
They’re whatever you might wish them to be
October 21, 2021 at 7:58 pm
Yes, manage to get the comment up this time round Yea..
October 21, 2021 at 7:57 pm
A well drawn story. It is in a mother’s soul to worry over a feckless son.
October 27, 2021 at 10:32 am
Thanks James, I’m glad you were able to get the comment up, and that you liked the story. I really like the poignancy of ‘It’s in the mother’s soul….’
October 21, 2021 at 7:16 pm
If Raymond’s autistic, it might not have occurred to him to let his mother know he’s okay. Poor Olive. (My granddaughter’s name. )