Rochelle’s challenge this week is prompted by this intriguing photo. This is where my imagination led me. Glad to be back with Friday Fictioneers, been on holiday.
THE SET UP
Her eyes shine with anticipation. His heart lurches.
‘Can’t wait to meet your parents, finally. Suppose they dislike me ?’
‘You’re perfect. Let’s park, take a walk.’
‘A walk ?’ The sharpness of her voice cuts through his bravado.
‘They live —– in a tepee ? Why are we in this place ?’
‘I need to tell you about me.’ She feels the tremor in his voice.
‘My parents don’t live here, or in this area. They disowned me. Couldn’t tell you, scared you’d ditch me like they did.’ His eyes avoid hers.
‘So this is one big set-up huh ?’
February 4, 2019 at 12:58 pm
She’s a mighty insecure lady. She needs to trust him more and if he can’t accept her for what she is, then he’s not worth the bother. Nice tale
February 5, 2019 at 4:13 pm
Thanks so much for your feedback Lynn. I agree with you that two way trust is central to their situation. I can imagine that storming off might seem to be easier than trusting.
February 10, 2019 at 12:49 pm
My pleasure. Some people find it hard to trust, don’t they, so it’s very realistic that she doesn’t.
February 3, 2019 at 8:41 pm
I think this could move in many different ways… maybe I wouldn’t call it a set up though… more a way of explaining the truth… hope she can listen
February 4, 2019 at 11:52 am
Appreciate your feedback Bjorn. Let’s hope they are able to really listen to each other, as you say.
February 2, 2019 at 5:22 pm
Run and run really fast, what more lies are there?
February 3, 2019 at 4:22 pm
Good advice ! Who knows – many layers of lies perhaps ?
February 1, 2019 at 11:40 pm
They see,ed sp well=suited. I hope they work this out 🙂
February 1, 2019 at 11:41 pm
My goodness. They seemed so well-suited. . . . .
February 2, 2019 at 3:02 pm
Thanks for your comment. Yes let’s hope they can sort this issue out. Hope they have a wise grandma not too far away….
February 1, 2019 at 11:31 pm
I hope he can find it in his heart to understand why she lied. Although it’s rough to start a relationship that’s already based on a lie. Well done and welcome back from your holiday.
February 2, 2019 at 3:05 pm
Thank you Rochelle – appreciate your feedback, pleased you liked the story. My holiday was great – always takes me a while to come back down to earth afterwards.
February 1, 2019 at 9:20 pm
Wow – this was a creative take on the photo and for so well – I was right there
– and I recent lot heard people buy fake ATM receipts tonuse at clubs and give their number out on them – lol
February 2, 2019 at 3:08 pm
Thanks for your feedback – glad the story grabbed you. Agree with you about not knowing who to trust, and it being harder to trust people.
February 2, 2019 at 5:59 pm
February 1, 2019 at 8:43 pm
Oh dear, this doesn’t sound like a good way to conduct a relationship. Interesting take on the photo prompt.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
February 2, 2019 at 3:12 pm
Thanks Susan, I appreciate your feedback. Agree – not a promising start for the two people.
February 1, 2019 at 5:29 pm
I always wonder why people lie about themselves in the beginning. Better to be truthful and if the person decides they are not right for them, then all move on. When one’s heart becomes invested, the pain is all the more felt.
Well done, Francine.
February 2, 2019 at 3:22 pm
Thanks so much Dale, I appreciate your feedback. I can’t imagine being the person who is lying – it would keep me awake at night !
February 2, 2019 at 3:28 pm
One always gets caught… eventually!
February 1, 2019 at 2:52 pm
Violet…or, did he? Hmmm….
February 1, 2019 at 4:50 pm
Thanks for your comment Stu.
February 1, 2019 at 2:40 pm
We wonder why he was disowned.
February 1, 2019 at 4:57 pm
Appreciate your comment. Maybe I need to write a part 2 : backstory ?
February 1, 2019 at 2:32 pm
Not a good way to start a relationship!
Click to read my FriFic tale!
February 1, 2019 at 5:02 pm
Thanks for your comment Keith.
February 1, 2019 at 2:26 pm
I hope they didn’t disown him for anything too nasty…
February 1, 2019 at 5:07 pm
Appreciate your feedback Ali. I did think about what he might have done- left hanging I guess.
February 1, 2019 at 11:21 am
I hope she is there for him. Sounds like it might be the first time someone is. Nicely written.
February 1, 2019 at 5:14 pm
Thanks so much Lisa -pleased you liked the story.
February 1, 2019 at 10:46 am
I like the way you’ve achieved such layering of your characters. We know from what they say (and don’t say) that there are complex stories behind them. Well done!
February 1, 2019 at 5:24 pm
Thanks so Penny, I appreciate your feedback. The first draft was 200 words, so much honing down needed.
February 1, 2019 at 9:47 am
So, he’s lied to her. That may be hard to come back from
February 1, 2019 at 5:31 pm
Thanks for your comment. Agree with you – it could be a make or break moment.
February 1, 2019 at 9:19 am
I hope she becomes more understanding, it sounds like he has come back from a tough start in life.
February 1, 2019 at 5:37 pm
Appreciate your comment Iain. Guess it could go either way ?
BTW – ‘An Altered State’ is a really gripping story – I wrote a review.
February 1, 2019 at 5:42 pm
Oops I meant ‘Justified’ sorry.
February 1, 2019 at 8:41 pm
Thank you for reading my book and so pleased you liked it. Where will I find your review, would love to read what you thought 🙂
February 2, 2019 at 8:17 am
My review in on Amazon – name of Patience.
February 1, 2019 at 8:27 am
Well… at least he didn’t lure her out there to kill her …..😦
February 1, 2019 at 5:39 pm
Appreciate your comment Violet – the wild landscape could be quite scarey, couldn’t it.