This evocative photo is the prompt for Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers’ challenge. Can you write a story of 100 words ? Here’s where my imagination led me.
FOR BETTER AND FOR WORSE
We gather on this remote station platform far from home.
DO YOU TAKE….
I’ve longed for this day, be close enough to touch him,
not separated by the rancour and enmity of our families.
TO BE YOUR….
Kept apart by these jealous old men, feuding over land. Making me an object for their barter.
LAWFUL WEDDED WIFE……Yes
I am your comrade, your soul-friend. Will this marriage promise hold us secure against the shuttered minds of our elders ?
FROM THIS DAY FORTH ? ….I do
Now is our time……Who are those men coming towards us ?
December 12, 2018 at 4:17 am
I was sucked in immediately! There is something intriguing about a Romeo & Juliet scenario. I think they need to start running NOW! Great suspense!
December 15, 2018 at 4:07 pm
Thanks Kira, I appreciate your comment.
December 9, 2018 at 5:19 pm
The end was chilling… nothing good comes from this… Romeo and Juliet is always repeated.
December 10, 2018 at 9:02 am
I appreciate your comment Bjorn – I do the odds are stacked against the couple – agree they can’t win against all that vested interest.
December 9, 2018 at 2:32 pm
It’s Pa and Uncle Jack – run now. Sometimes the best weddings get the relations pitching against each other.
December 10, 2018 at 9:10 am
Appreciate your comment. Think you’re right about feelings running high between relatives.
December 8, 2018 at 4:53 pm
I’m joining the crowd that loves the way you constructed this and hoping the men are a coachman and a valet ready to whisk them off to an unforgettable honeymoon…. Excellent write.
December 10, 2018 at 9:38 am
Thanks for your feedback Violet – pleased you enjoyed the story.
December 8, 2018 at 4:13 pm
The drama builds step by step. Too bad they didn’t bring an armed posse with them. Those men coming toward them don’t sound friendly to me.
December 10, 2018 at 9:40 am
Thanks for your comment. I agree, the couple are vulnerable, doesn’t look good.
December 8, 2018 at 2:12 pm
This left me sad. Such hope and promise in the beginning then …. Well done.
December 11, 2018 at 3:30 pm
Thank you Alicia, I appreciate your feedback. Think the odds were against the couple sadly.
December 7, 2018 at 4:27 pm
I loved the way you organized your story and the emotion you conveyed. Hopefully, they jump on the train and flee!
December 11, 2018 at 3:44 pm
Thanks so much Brenda- I’m glad you enjoyed the story. Yes, I want them to escape too !
December 7, 2018 at 5:09 am
Love in a world full of false sense of honour and material dispute.
December 11, 2018 at 3:50 pm
Thanks for your comment Abhijit- much appreciated.
December 6, 2018 at 3:13 pm
As others have said, I love how you structured this story. You left me with my heart in my mouth. Well done.
December 10, 2018 at 9:26 am
Appreciate your feedback Rochelle – so glad you liked the story.
December 6, 2018 at 2:09 pm
‘Those men’ sound pretty ominous. Great structure.
December 10, 2018 at 9:27 am
Thank you Iain – pleased you liked the structure – a bit of an experiment.
December 6, 2018 at 2:06 pm
I like the way you put this together. I hope their happiness is not about to be ruined…
December 11, 2018 at 3:52 pm
Pleased you liked the story Ali, thanks.
December 6, 2018 at 1:58 pm
Where is a train when you need one? Nice one.
Click to read my FriFic tale!
December 6, 2018 at 1:32 pm
I wonder about the nature of the dispute that caused them to be star crossed lovers and remember that old enmities not only die hard, they cause a lot of collateral damage in their death throes.
December 6, 2018 at 10:55 am
Nicely structured. It’s not going to end well though, is it?
December 6, 2018 at 12:34 pm
Thanks for your comment Sandra- no, I think the odds are stacked against them, don’t you ?
December 6, 2018 at 5:15 am
The structure offers an interesting glimpse into the way the characters think. I wonder if the narrator will stay to make sense of the unexpected guests, while the other character runs for dear life.
December 6, 2018 at 12:08 am
Run away! A good tale
December 6, 2018 at 12:37 pm
Thanks – I’m glad your liked the story. Guess the luckless couple don’t have many choices…
December 5, 2018 at 9:39 pm
Lovely original construction. Really powerful.
December 6, 2018 at 12:44 pm
Thank you Jilly – so pleased you liked the story.
December 5, 2018 at 8:15 pm
I hope they’re just the ushers
December 6, 2018 at 12:46 pm
Thanks for your comment ..maybe they’re running late by going to the wrong platform ?
December 5, 2018 at 7:36 pm
Very intrigued! This is a great cliffhanger.
December 6, 2018 at 12:56 pm
Appreciate your feedback Lisa. So pleased that you are intrigued !