Rochelle’s challenge is prompted by a photo of The Catalinas mountains, in Arizona. Can you write a 100 word story inspired by this picture ? Here’s my take.
OUT OF THE BLUE
Inner monologue and Dialogue
At last, we can talk. I sent you all these
” Las Catalinas, our favourite place. Glad you agreed to come. So beautiful here.”
messages, no answer at all. Got worried
” Remember camping 2 years ago ? How have you been ? So much to catch up on.”
about you, called the police, in case you’d
“Good to have quality time with you. Love being best buddies with you.”
collapsed at home.
I’m your best friend,
through childhood, first boyfriends
“ What ? We’re NOT best buddies ? That my friends find me hard work ?”
What have I done wrong ?
“You’re saying : don’t ever contact you again ?….. ”
May 1, 2018 at 1:42 pm
Really liked the structure that you’ve used here. Nicely done, Francine. 🙂
May 1, 2018 at 4:03 pm
Thanks for your feedback Norma, glad you liked the structure.
April 29, 2018 at 8:32 am
I liked the different structure you’ve used here. Inner dialogue can be very dangerous, after all we’re second guessing all the time, so much room to get it wrong
April 29, 2018 at 11:36 am
Thanks for your feedback Michael, glad you liked the structure. I was keen to make it understandable. I agree about the risks of inner dialogues, sometimes hard to detect in each other.
April 28, 2018 at 12:02 pm
How often does an inner dialogue clash with the physical one? Well done and most interesting take!
April 28, 2018 at 2:57 pm
Clashes a lot of the time I think !
April 28, 2018 at 12:41 am
Artfully done, and quite powerful. And heart-rending. Good work.
April 28, 2018 at 8:57 am
Thank you Granonine – I appreciate your feedback.
April 27, 2018 at 11:14 pm
Very authentic. Great piece.
April 28, 2018 at 8:58 am
Glad you liked the story Lisa – thank-you.
April 27, 2018 at 7:43 pm
Oh yes, i am left wondering what happened, what went wrong in their friendship.
April 28, 2018 at 8:59 am
Yes – what went wrong ? And why weren’t they more open with each other before ?
April 27, 2018 at 5:04 pm
I like your experiment with structure; it’s clever and, in this story, it’s effective. I found it very sad that one friend was rejected so harshly. She had been concerned for her friend’s safety and instead gets a brutal brush-off. But, as you say, it does happen that way for some people.
April 28, 2018 at 9:01 am
Thanks for your feedback Penny. Agree, it is a sad ending of a friendship.
April 27, 2018 at 12:29 pm
Too needy – it’s a shame. Interesting story structure.
April 27, 2018 at 1:23 pm
Thanks Jilly. Think friendships can end this way, Painful for the unwanted person. Was experimenting with the structure….
April 28, 2018 at 1:00 pm
I really liked the structure. Experiments are all part of the pleasure of writing, aren’t they.
April 27, 2018 at 11:14 am
That inner dialogue can be so off and destroy relationships, can’t it? Nicely done.
April 27, 2018 at 1:25 pm
Thank you Rochelle- agree about the inner dialogue. Hard for the rejected person.
April 27, 2018 at 7:31 am
Harsh. Though he does strike me as a bit clingy 🙂
April 27, 2018 at 10:23 am
I agree – it is harsh – and I think it does happen that way for some people.