photo of Shah’s Mosque courtesy of http://www.123rf.com
This week Pegman takes us to Tehran, Iran. Here’s my 150 word story.
GIFT TO THE WORLD
‘ Amir, sit in the shade with me for a bit. How long have you been working at the masjid ? Along time ? Like me. I’m sure there are more cars in Tehran now. More tourists too.
Inside the masjid, sometimes I stop, gaze upwards at the qubba and marvel. The dome soaring above us like the vault of heaven, with its breath-taking patterns. They fill me with inspiration. Those hanging lamps that make a soft mystical space which draws us into worship. I am proud of our heritage, Amir, our maths, our science, our music, our art. Islam’s gift to the world.
I wish my daughter and her daughter could be freer – to work as equals, to have a voice that’s listened to, and choices – don’t you ? Hey – here comes the supervisor – back to work.’
July 9, 2018 at 3:50 am
great writing – felt the realistic tension – and was back to work with them… pondering
July 12, 2018 at 6:39 am
Pleased you liked the story – appreciate your feedback. I wanted to imagine being an ordinary person on Iran.
July 13, 2018 at 12:25 am
it worked well
July 7, 2018 at 5:21 pm
You’re right – a beautiful building! And I agree the tone of voice is perfect – casual and chatty, quite realistic. I wonder what percentage of men support the regime’s attitude to women and what percentage think as your character does? A great perspective
July 8, 2018 at 7:15 pm
Thank you Lynn – appreciate your feedback. So glad you liked the story. I wanted to imagine being an ordinary man, and how he would see things. Good question of yours – in such a regime, guess it’s hard to gauge what the ordinary people think.
July 18, 2018 at 9:30 am
It is so hard to judge from the outside, isn’t it? Sickening for people trapped inside a regime they don’t agree with
July 3, 2018 at 7:35 pm
I really like this character. He seems mildly critical of the rules, but practical enough to know when its best to keep his mouth shut. Beautiful photo too!
July 4, 2018 at 9:08 am
July 2, 2018 at 5:02 pm
I, too, like the voice. It’s like a lazy-day dialogue, sitting beneath a tree, out of the heat, chatting with a friend, relaxing and dreaming about what-ifs and might-have-beens.
July 2, 2018 at 6:11 pm
Appreciate your feedback Alicia – pleased you like the voice. Definitely out of the heat, chatting.
July 2, 2018 at 1:59 pm
How very brave of you, Francine, to write your piece as a monologue. You’ve done it cleverly, with implied dialogue in the form of rhetorical questions, and implied action in the return of the supervisor. By doing it that way, you’ve given us the inner thoughts of someone who works at the Masjid, which humanises your description of the building. I wonder what sort of piece you would have written if you had just stuck to description? The description you’ve included is beautiful. But then, of course, we would lose the political statement of a desire for better opportunities for women.
As you can see, your story provoked much thought!
July 2, 2018 at 6:13 pm
Thanks so much Penny, for your reflections – it is interesting, as you do,, to consider styles, and what they can achieve. Glad to prompted your thoughts.
July 1, 2018 at 8:26 pm
Marvelous. I love the voice!
July 2, 2018 at 11:00 am
Thank you Karen, much appreciated. I was wanting to reply to your new friend’s question – how other people see Iran. The architecture is astonishing I think !
July 9, 2018 at 3:50 am